I started out my years as a kitten at a farm just outside of some kind of blissful field, I guess.  I don't really remember much of that time.  Anyway, my mommy brought me home one summer and I was given the best food I had ever eaten.  No more milk for me!  Man, that stuff is nasty.  I swear I must be lactose intolerant.  Anyway, I grew up with my possible half-sister, Pretty Socks.  She's pretty fat.  My mommy gave me lots of treats and food and hugged me and petted me whenever I wanted it.  Well, except the food.  Humans are kinda dumb about that.  I want food.  All the time.  I lived in the house for a while until I was a naughty boy and peed all over the place and sat on the table.  So, Pretty Socks and I were doomed to the back porch for life.  We've had to listen to a lot of crap throughout the years--including the most annoying creatures in the world (i.e. Racer, Tiger, Mye, etc.).  I think we've been pretty patient.  Don't you think we deserve another chance at the indoor world?  Well...I'm really hot...just ignore the drool and the snot and pet me.  Don't pick me up.  That's all you need to do.  Just pet me.  Ooh, and feed me, too.